Portrait: Tamsyn
7 years ago, on a Saturday after a night out, I felt unwell. I thought maybe it was a hangover. I went to bed early and woke the next morning with a terrible headache...
A little bit about Tamsyn
7 years ago, on a Saturday after a night out, I felt unwell. I thought maybe it was a hangover. I went to bed early and woke the next morning with a terrible headache... I honestly thought I was dying. My husband called an ambulance, and I was rushed to hospital.
The doctor at A&E said he thought I had a migraine and wanted to discharge me, but a junior doctor suggested a lumber puncture and CT scan which showed a subarachnoid haemorrhage. I was then transferred to a neurosurgeon in Southampton. I don’t remember much for the next few weeks, apart from being desperate to get home to my children.
Being discharged home
As soon as I left the safety of the ward, I felt overwhelmed by the sounds, smells and lights. I felt confused and refused to get in the car saying I wanted to walk home - over 100miles! Things have improved since then and I was lucky to have a wonderful Occupational Therapist during my rehabilitation. However, despite my attempts, I couldn’t cope at work and was medically retired. My love of gigs and clubs were replaced with the need for quiet.
How I manage today
I can easily be overcome with anxiety, I’m often tearful and don’t sleep very well. It’s hard as apart from a dodgy eye, I look the same and I sound the same... even though I often can’t find the words (especially if I’m tired). I feel like no one really understands.
I know I’m one of the lucky ones and I do try my best to enjoy things, but I miss the old me and all the things that I could do.
I’ve tried going to stroke support groups, but I don’t identify with the others I’ve met there. I’d love to meet other younger people who have had a similar experience.
I have found a love for other things like sewing, gardening and floristry. All this brings the peace and calm that I crave. Financially things are very tricky. I’ve lost my income, and my small pension doesn’t stretch far. I generally try to be positive and not dwell on the things I can’t do, but sometimes is it easier said than done.
Final thoughts
I like to think that despite everything, I’ve taken some real positives from nearly dying! My priorities have completely shifted. I think I’m a better mum, daughter and friend. Before I had the haemorrhage, I didn’t have a good balance in life. I worked really long hours with minimal time for anything else. I have been forced to have a better balance and as a result I’m a happier and more content person.
There is an urgent need to make brain injury rehabilitation services accessible to all regardless of age. Stroke can happen at any age and the impact on a person’s quality of life can go well beyond the brain injury itself.