Portrait: Breanna
My name is Breanna, and I am pursuing my MSc in Cognitive Neuroscience and Human Neuroimaging at the University of Sheffield. In 2021, I experienced an ischemic pontine stroke, which completely transformed my life.
A little bit about Breanna
When the doctor told me, "You're having a stroke," I couldn't believe it. How could I, at 19 years old, be having a stroke?
That morning, I woke up feeling disoriented and weak on my right side. By the evening, I was in the emergency room, where an MRI confirmed the news that would change the trajectory of my life.
The following three days in the hospital were filled with countless scans and blood draws in an attempt to find an explanation for what had happened. Despite the multitude of tests, my questions remained unanswered.
Moving past the stroke and onto recovery
In the following months, I dedicated myself to my recovery. I had to acknowledge that my healing process would be gradual and that the path wouldn't be linear.
During this time, I leaned on my healthcare team for support and learned to embrace frustration and find strength in my daily progress. Returning to university as a full-time student was by far the most difficult and nerve-racking part of my recovery. My stroke had left me with health anxiety, post-stroke depression, neuro fatigue, and I was uncertain about how I would cope with the demanding academic environment.
Similar to other aspects of my post-stroke recovery, I had to learn to trust the process and believe in my ability to overcome challenges. Although difficult, I eventually discovered an approach that suited me by learning through experimentation, having open conversations with my professors and peers and exploring various learning methods.
One thing I didn't expect to experience during recovery was grappling with the loss of my pre-stroke self. There was a clear distinction between who I was before and after the stroke, and I often found myself mourning my former self.
What helped me during recovery
Seeking support from a psychotherapist was crucial in helping me navigate these intense emotions. Having a dedicated space to explore my feelings and develop effective coping mechanisms for the physical and mental obstacles I faced played a vital role in my recovery. This emotional processing allowed me to undergo personal growth, and ultimately, I found the strength to accept and embrace the post-stroke version of myself.
My faith and spirituality provided great comfort during my recovery. A particular passage from Judges 5:31 resonated with me: “But may all who love you be like the sun when it rises in its strength.” Even for non-religious people, I hope this verse can offer comfort during difficult times.
My advice to other survivors
There were moments in my recovery when I woke up feeling weighed down, unable to face the day. Despite these moments of weakness, I found the strength to get up and show up for myself.
Just like the sun, we, too, can rise with strength. While a stroke may take away physical abilities and speech, it cannot diminish our mindset and determination.
My life didn't end with my stroke; in many ways, it had only just begun. I achieved many things that I am proud of, such as graduating from university with the highest honors, completing my first half-marathon and discovering my passion for stroke advocacy and research.
To anyone going through a stroke or brain injury, I urge you to seek a community and share your story. Thinking you must face this alone is one of the most difficult feelings. Sharing our stories raises awareness and creates a space where we don't have to fight alone.
While I never wanted my stroke to happen, I've grown to appreciate it for the new perspective and purpose it has given me.