Portrait: Joan
My name is Joan. I’m 49 years old from Sheffield, England. In October 2017, I suffered a subarachnoid hemorrhage. I was fit, healthy and had no symptoms. I simply left my workplace as normal at 5pm on a Friday afternoon, climbed into my car and all I remember is a huge clap of thunder in my head. Then, I found myself looking at the car key in my hand and laughing, thinking, “I don’t know what to do with this!”
Where Joan’s story starts
My name is Joan. I’m 49 years old from Sheffield, England. In October 2017, I suffered a subarachnoid hemorrhage, a bleed on the brain’s surface that causes a stroke. I was fit, healthy and had no symptoms. I simply left my workplace as normal at 5pm on a Friday afternoon, climbed into my car, and all I remember is a huge clap of thunder in my head. Then, I found myself looking at the car key in my hand and laughing, thinking, “I don’t know what to do with this!”
My family were there for me in my hardest moments
My daughter, who was 14 at the time, called my partner when I hadn’t returned home as normal or picked up the phone. He was on his way home from work and decided to come to my workplace to check on me as this was unlike me. When he arrived in the car park, he found me slumped over the steering wheel with vomit everywhere. I was stirring but making no sense and I appeared almost drunk, but I wasn’t. I came around and he said he would take me to the nearest hospital, but I refused, insisting I just had a headache and wanted to go home. As we were driving, I started being sick again and losing consciousness, so he stopped and phoned an ambulance.
I was taken to the local hospital and then transferred to specialists at another hospital where they confirmed to my partner that I had suffered a brain bleed. I was to undergo endovascular coiling, and he was advised I had a one-third chance of it all going well and no further complications, but it had to be done or I wouldn’t survive. They said if my partner had not come to find me, I might have died in that car.
Undergoing treatment
I came out of surgery and was moved to intensive care. I was doing well until I suffered with vasospasms so was given some more intravenous drugs. I stayed in the hospital for around three weeks and made a great recovery. A few months later, I had a follow up with a consultant, who then discharged me. I’ve had two scans in the last seven years which have all been fine. So, I know I'm one of the very lucky ones.
Emotional battles during recovery
Mentally, I don’t think I’ve fully processed what happened to me.
Apart from not working, everything was as it had been before my hemorrhage. I was cooking, shopping, doing school runs for my younger child, even going out celebrating birthdays, though not as often as I used to, I got tired quite easily and being in crowded rooms was difficult for a while.
Resiliency in the face of being misunderstood
Also, in the middle of this period, as my long-term sick leave was coming to an end, I went to the doctor and got cleared to return to work. I was eager to get back to doing what I loved as a PA to directors of a company. I had to do a phased return and only after one week back, I was called into my line manager’s office with an HR representative. I was told that I was being made redundant. I had been with the company for 10 years and this was a big blow to me at this time. I felt like everyone was against me and treating me like I had not recovered or was now incapable of working and being a mother. It appears that I would have been made redundant earlier but unfortunately for them, I had my brain hemorrhage at the wrong time. But again, I went on to find an amazing full-time job as an Executive Assistant for directors in a large worldwide company where I am still today. So, I survived again!
Current symptoms
The main symptoms I consistently suffer with are fatigue, headaches and anxiety. Whenever I get a headache, I’m riddled with anxiety as I’m thinking it may happen again, so it makes me worry when I do go out alone. People think because I came out of this with no permanent symptoms that I’m okay, but I still think I didn’t get the chance to rest and process what had happened to me for a very long time due to everything I had to deal with.
My support system and advice to others
My family and close friends have been the greatest support throughout these years, and I got married in 2019 to the amazing man that saved my life. Every day I’m thankful for being here and living life to the best I can. I will always be thankful.
My advice to any brain injury survivor is to stay strong and live your life to the full and whatever life throws at you – you can do this!