Portrait: Kirsten
Aged 30, on December 30, 2023, I went to bed feeling fine but woke up never feeling the same. Whilst I was sleeping, I had a subarachnoid brain aneurysm which burst and led me to have two surgeries and being medically induced into a coma for five days.
Unfortunately, due to the aneurysm rupturing, I had added complications. The aneurysm was close to my carotid artery and it was touch and go what the outcome of it would be.
A little bit about Kirsten
My behaviour was erratic resulting in me biting through my hand; I started getting bruises on my forehead and arms and had no idea what was going on.
I was rushed into the hospital where I collapsed... Three hours later, we had a diagnosis and I was having surgery.
Waking up to a new reality
I woke up on January 5 with severe short term memory loss and I couldn’t remember much of what was going on. I had a shaved bit in my hair and 17 staples where the drain had been fitted. I was absolutely devastated.
I dropped down to seven stone and I was so fed up and angry. I spent five weeks in hospital before I was discharged. I was in a locked ward for my own safety. I was very repetitive and still can be to this day. I can’t remember any of this. It has all been told to me by my family and friends.
Nobody expected this and it was a terrible shock to everyone, I really struggled thinking, why me? But I now also understand how lucky I am.
How this traumatic event affected me
It’s by far the most terrifying thing that has ever happened to me and I honestly didn’t see myself coming out of it the way I have... frankly, everyone is shocked. I’m still recovering at the moment and I have definitely had my ups and downs.
I would say my confidence has been knocked for sure, but I also know I’ll not let this define who I am.
I have my scan coming up next week and I’m anxious about it but also confident that I’ll get back to normal living taking each day as it comes. I was literally the youngest in the ward and I found that to be very hard. In saying that, I had an amazing support network around me: my family, friends and nurses. They helped me tremendously whilst I was in hospital. The surgeon who did the operation was also amazing.
Challenges I still face daily
I still have a bit of short-term memory loss and do need support from people to help me get by daily. I currently can’t work and I am not allowed to drive. These have been massive changes that I’ve had to adjust to as I had just started working at a fabulous flower shop in the heart of Edinburgh. Styling events is something I absolutely loved and I’ve had to step away from this for the time being.
Processing the trauma on my loved ones
My family and friends were told at the time that they weren’t sure if I was going to make it and that if I did, there could be a chance that I might not be able to walk and talk again. Coming out of this event with short-term memory loss feels like grazed knees compared to the initial prognosis, but it’s still an awful feeling.
I never thought anything like this would happen to me, but I can’t change it. What I can do is move forward every day.
Words of advice to other survivors
Doing small activities every day such as meeting with my family and friends provides a sense of normality. It has been so hard and I’m still going through it, but I just need you to know that things will get better.
We are unique to survive something so traumatic and life threatening and I think it’s pretty amazing to be here to tell my story. You can’t live in fear of what you have no control over and this has made me realize how special some things are in my life. I really hope my story helps somebody who has maybe not been as fortunate as me or has gone through something similar. All I can say is live life every day because you just don’t know what’s going to happen.
I’m a survivor not a victim. It’s been a very hard time but there is light at the end of the tunnel.